just a reminder: we’re two periods away from 2014.

you couldn’t just say months you had to measure time with your menstrual cycle

fUN FACT. the earliest form of a calender that’s ever been found was to keep track of an ancient person’s menstrual cycle. ppl with vaginas invented time. there is a reason that months are about the same length as the time between periods. that is all.

Why is it always the woman who has to see past the beast in the man? Why does she always have to clean his wounds, even after he has damaged her beyond repair? Why is it always the man who is worthy of forgiveness for being a monster?
I want to see the beast in the beauty.
The half smile, half snarl. The unapologetic anger. I would like to see the man forgive the monster. To see her, blood and all, and love her anyway.
beauty and the beast | Caitlyn S. (via kisu-no-hi)




I’m pretty sure I reblog this already but this need to be reblog again


Anonymous asked:

Calm down, it isn't that big of a deal that people don't know women don't pee out of their vag, sheesh.

afadingoctober answered:

Look, it’s our friendly male-privileged anon come to tell me I’m being all womanly hysterical.

I’m assuming you’re a guy. If you’re a girl, and this doesn’t piss you off, I’m a little concerned, honestly.

The fact is that it is a big deal, and you just earned yourself a free lecture on why so siddown and shaddup.

Cracked ran a rather diverting article today on

"6 Insane Sex Myths People Used to Teach as Facts"

including things like how westerners apparently thought that Chinese women who immigrated had sideways vaginas and that doctors attributed any number of problems to the fact that they believed women’s uteri could detach themselves when the woman was not pregnant and scamper around the woman’s innards like some sort of wayward jellyfish blob.
Hilarious, right? Can’t believe people used to think that! Oh, how naive they all were!
Which brings us to women-pee-out-of-their-vagina.
People back then kind of have an excuse for stupid notions, because a lot of the time there wasn’t the technology or research or scientific community to call them out on it in order to spread information that was actually factual.
We do not have that excuse today.
Yes, I heard that, greyface in sunglasses in the second row.
"well we don’t teach ridiculous stuff like that!"
Spoiler Alert: We totally do.
Stuff like the complete erasure of parts of female anatomy, publicly taught and widespread misinformation about others and the fact that I learned more about my own body with 15 minutes on Wikipedia than I did in two mandatory Health classes and a Medical Anatomy class.
Send your arguments at me, believe me, they don’t hold water.
"The clitoris doesn’t have anything to do with reproduction!"
Sex Ed covers more than just reproduction. Every time they sent me home with a little paper for your parent/guardian to sign, they said they would be talking about anatomy as well as reproduction.
"Well, female anatomy is a lot more complicated…"
Doesn’t that mean they should spend more time covering it rather than skipping over the parts they deem ‘unnecessary’? Even in my Medical Anatomy class when we had the diagrams to label, despite there being a clitoris in the diagram, there wasn’t a lil line to write down what it was.
"Maybe they didn’t think it was appropriate to talk about for high school."
Female pleasure.
So lewd.
How dare they.
Get the pitchforks and burn the witch.
"They don’t talk about male pleasure either!"
Bitch, please.
I heard aaaaalll about what happens when a dude is aroused and orgasms with the erections and ejaculations and all that nonsense.
Girl orgasms are apparently not a thing. And, depending on the class, neither was female arousal.
(Which I find decidedly disturbing, as a side note.)
"Female orgasms aren’t a part of reproduction either."
Maybe not.
"Fine. The clitoris is controversial. That hardly covers the entire spectrum of female sexuality having misinformation and crap."
Apparently you didn’t read the part up above about how I did not learn what happens when a woman is aroused or orgasms in three years of classes that are supposed to teach me about this thing.
"If it took you 15 minutes on Wikipedia to figure stuff out, why are you so mad? That’s hardly a waste of time."
Because I deserve to know about my own body, and when schools teach Sex Ed in any form, they are taking on the responsibility of teaching me that.
And yet, I learned absolutely nothing useful.
That’s a problem.
"Okay, okay. They don’t talk about female sexual reactions, and that’s kinda sexist."
You know what else is kinda sexist? Telling men that sex is great and women that it’s going to hurt and suck and also you’ll get pregnant and die.
What am I talking about, you say?
The hymen. You know, the thing that covers a woman’s vaginal opening and breaks and there’s blood and that’s how you can tell if your girlfriend is lying about whether or not you’re her first.
Well guess what, buddy-boy, you dumped that girl for no reason because that’s not actually what a hymen is and you’re also a jerk.
The hymen is a flexible membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening (usually in a sort of crescent shape when they are but a wee lass) and did you notice the word up there? ‘Flexible’? Do you know what that means? It means that if a woman is sufficiently aroused, it prolly ain’t gonna break. (wow do you think this myth has anything to do with the lack of knowledge we’re taught about female arousal???)
I mean dude you can shove a baby outta that thing and it returns to its original shape, you can’t tell if a woman is a virgin or not by the state of her hymen anyways. They can tear during exercise n stuff as well but there is literally not much of a reason why sex should be painful for girls and why you call it “popping the cherry”
Well, fun fact, if she’s tight that means you kind of suck balls at the whole sex thing.
This isn’t just a matter of some people making a mistake about how women urinate. This is part of a long history of the suppression of female sexuality to the point that when you get a damn diagram of the vulva, apparently they don’t mark where the urethra is because man we don’t want to spend too much time talking about ladyparts frick who knows what’s hiding down there…






In my own 7th grade health class, and even in goddam 11th and 12th grade highschool biology, they left out female pleasure to such an extent as a thing, that I thought orgasm and penile ejaculation were synonymous.  That orgasm was only a penis-owning thing; that orgasm was when those with penises spewed sperm, not that it was a pleasurable climax, not that it was its own thing, not that people with vaginas could experience them.

You want to know how we were told about the clitoris? Through less than two sentences in seventh grade health class.  “This is the clitoris: it’s like a button and and can get harder”.  That’s it.  That’s it.

Can we talk about how dangerous this is, actually?

Yes. I said dangerous. Not because I’m a girl and I would like sex to be enjoyable thank you, but because we’re teaching women that a men have a right to have sex be enjoyable where we do not.

We’re teaching women that if she is uncomfortable or in pain, that is normal and she has no right to complain.

We’re teaching women to do something because it makes a man happy, regardless of how she feels.

We’re teaching women to be the submissive, receptive partner rather than an active participant.

I didn’t learn about a woman’s arousal or a woman’s orgasm simply because apparently that isn’t important.

It doesn’t matter if a woman is enjoying it.

It doesn’t matter if she likes what you’re doing.

We teach these things in a public setting, and we wonder why youth are legitimately confused about what constitutes rape, and why it is a bad thing that has a profoundly negative and possibly permanent effect on the victim.

I’m a 43 year old cis woman, and I actually learned something I didn’t know about my own anatomy from this post.


Sex is not about female pleasure. Females do not need to be pleasured in order to reproduce. Sex is for reproduction. A man experiencing pleasure is essential to reproduction because, without it, he will not ejaculate, thereby getting the woman pregnant so she can experience the highest form of womanhood: motherhood. Sex is supposed to hurt, at least the first time because of the sins of Eve. Women continue to pay for the sin of Eve through the pain of menstruation, the pain of giving birth, and through sex. But motherhood is a blessed state and therefore she should tolerate for the sake of bringing another life into the world which is the most beautiful and meaningful thing a woman can do with her life and her body.

Basically, men have been shit at sex since the dawn of time. And instead of focusing in any way on female pleasure, they have made up ridiculous myths about original sin, cherry popping and how virgins are far better than not-virgins.

The best way to keep a woman from knowing that female pleasure exists, much less desiring it, is to keep her from knowing her own body. If you are going to keep her from knowing her own body, and make it a mystery to her (I was told ‘you’ll find out about that on your wedding night’) and a woman demands nothing, than a man has absolutely no incentive to learn about female pleasure. Learning about female pleasure implies learning about female anatomy. Why the hell SHOULD a man (or woman) not know they don’t pee out of their vagina? Hell, most men/women don’t even know that the vagina is NOT the entire sex organ. That the outter lips, etc are NOT the vagina.

It’s HELLA importanntn to know you don’t piss out of your vagina so you can tell the difference between a yeast infection and a urinary tract infection. Which I didn’t find out about until my mid-twenties due to lack of even properly labeled anatomical drawings. Did you know you got three holes there? SURPRISE you have three holes. One of them is your urethra. When THAT shit is burning that is a urinary tract infection. When your vaginal hole is burning, then it is a yeast infection. If you want to rip your labia off due to excessive burning that has come on suddenly, go to the gynecologist, not the PCP.

This isn’t just about female pleasure, though it’d be nice if someone gave a shit about that. Guys sure as hell don’t. This is about actual medical issues. I was 25 before I found out that the pain I had on either side of my uterus was big fuckin’ cysts becuase I had never been to the gynecologist before because I was too embarrassed. Seriously. This shit matters.

And it doesn’t just matter to women* and I am tired of guys going eww gross don’t talk about that stuff. You are a big man who wants to wrestle crocodiles in disgusting typhoid-infested swamp water, I think you can deal hearing about whether my period is a low flow, or if it’s running like niagra falls and that’s why I need to lie here in bed and eat chocolate while I moan in agony and can’t fix your dinner tonight.

You need to know that yes, you can have sex during someone’s period, it won’t break anything. It’ll be messy as hell. Maybe it will relieve her cramping. But maybe it will just make her feel gross and she won’t want to. Do something freakish and talk to your woman*.

Wanna be a hero to a woman? Don’t be a piece of shit about picking up feminine products. When she’s feeling like absolute death, and her hormones are different than the other 3 weeks of the month (actually they’re more like a guy’s hormones when she’s on her period, so maybe that’s why she gets “bitchy” and aggressive—she’s acting like YOU, you little turd) . Understand what TYPE of tampon or pad she wannts you to pick up, and grab her some chocolate and something salty. Know that much about a woman’s cravings during her period to get her something to comfort her, and you will be a hero. She willl remember that shit later and if you wash some dishes too, while she’s not feeling well, she will probably blow you later.

When she talks about cysts or her excrutiating period, or a yeast/urinary tract infection, don’t go EWW don’t talk about that. These are actual things she’s worried about. There’re conditions that happen in that plumbing down there that range from annoying to agnoizing, can make sex painful (i mean, assuming you are being proper partner and are being attentive to her arousal and needs) and can lead to infertility. Many women* worry about this stuff. Or suffer from extreme periods. But we’re told no one wants to hear about it, eww yicky, and it’s the price of original sin, so women* don’t talk about how much pain and suffering our nether reigions put us through.

Comparatively, women have an Asten Martin with what should be finely tuned workings under the hoods, and men have tiny scooters with electric motors. ONE thing gets out of whack and suddenly we start functioning like shit, and there’s usually pain involved. A dude* may haveta fucking pedal for once.

oh yeah, and another thing while I am ranting: that shit you see in pornos? MOST women don’t like doing it. That fucking pearl necklace shit? You come near my neck with your dick and i”m going to bite your balls.

If you, as a man*, do not understand female anatomy* and female pleasure zones, YOU are doing it wrong. Women PUT UP with having sex with you. They don’t actually fucking enjoy it. While you’re taking a piss, they’re probably finishing themselves off.

And if YOU as a man, don’t know that if she hasn’t had sex in a while, she needs extra foreplay and her hyman stretched so it doesn’t fucking hurt, then you have failed at life and women only have sex with you out of pity or because THEY don’t know that sex is not supposed to hurt.

So YES, it’s kind of a big fucking deal that no one knows where the hell the pee-hole is. Because it’s endemic of a MUCH larger problem. But what the fuck do you care? you’re getting your rocks off while holding on to boobs instead of a fleshlight.

*not all women have vaginas, not all men have penises, my comments are primarily directed to cis het dudebros ignoring the plumbing and function of those with vaginas. individual milage may vary, tax and title due at signing.

I know I’ve reblogged this before but that new commentary. 


Anonymous asked:

how does oitnb promote violence against bi women?

bisexcellentbabe answered:

It never once says the ‘B-word’ despite the fact the Piper demonstrates attraction to more than one gender. That wouldn’t be such a problem if almost every television show did that. Representation is SO important. Bisexuals are told every day that they don’t exist, and it is supported by what we see in media. That is so harmful to our mental health and our sense of safety and belongingness. 

They constantly refer to her as either a ‘lesbian’ or a ‘straight girl’. She is depicted as untrustworthy for not being monosexual. I saw a post with over 10,000 notes talking about how Piper and Lorna are untrustworthy because they are ‘straight girls’.

That. Is Violence. Bisexual women are seen as this deviant other, even in the LGBT community, and it is absolutely disgusting.

**Side note for everyone: Please for the love of god don’t listen to lesbian’s opinions on sapphobia, biphobia and bi-erasure. Please actually listen to what bisexual women are saying. They are constantly talking for and over us. Call them out on it. Take bisexual women’s voices seriously and educate yourselves on sapphobia and it’s serious implications on the lives of bisexual women**

I found this on the APA website:

"The study also found that bisexual women had significantly poorer mental health than lesbians and heterosexual women—findings consistent with other studies on bisexuals."

Suggesting possible reasons to be the exclusion from both straight and gay communities. Which from personal experience and conversations with others, is true for many of us. It is very damaging to be told that you don’t exist, or are greedy or your only value is in the sexualised nature of bisexuality. This is supported by various studies. 

You probably could have found this out by googling “orange is the new black biphobia” (x) (x)

For so long I felt worthless, and I believed people who said I would pick a side. I felt ashamed and confused. I suffered serious depression, not just as a result of my same-sex attraction but also as a result of of being non-monosexual.

Bisexual people deserve better. Young bisexual girls deserve better representation.They deserve acceptance. Feeling like you are belong and your feelings are legitimate are so important for healthy development.  They deserve better than the shit OITNB is serving up for them. 






as a pansexual who prefers, more often than not, to leave my sexuality in a grey area this fucking post really pisses me off. Piper NEVER labels her sexuality and when she is asked to she shrugs it off with a joke. The second time she is faced with a label is when Larry (ew) pleads with her brother about whether or not she is a lesbian to which he responds by questioning why Larry needs a label. I agree that bi-erasure is a huge problem in current media but the problem cannot possibly hang on one show about A REAL PERSON who refuses to label her sexuality. This outright refusal to define a fluid sexuality has meant so much more to me personally and a lot of other queer people I know than I could possibly express and to casually throw in “the B word” for fucking representation points would shatter the idea that people can live their lives without strict adherence to sexuality. And if you want to argue with me about people who say bisexuals don’t exist I will not waste my time as I’ve only met a handful of people in the entire time I’ve been “out of the closet” who even understood what I meant when I said pansexual. AND THAT IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT. so kindly fuck off.

Piper Kerman has called herself bisexual in interviews, for one thing

for another thing, good for you that you don’t like to label your sexuality when you come out to other people. that’s totally your decision and if it works for you personally i have no problem. but you don’t get to decide that vague allusions and ambiguity are enough for people who DO have a label (like bisexuality) but who are constantly told that it doesn’t count, or that it’s a phase, or that it’s a code word for “confused” or “halfway out of the closet”. especially since people who have relationships with multiple genders in the media are pretty much without fail either classified as gay/straight or never have their sexualities explicitly addressed, using the names of the actual identities is really important for validating them. when the word “bisexual” is only ever used as a part of a joke or in academic jargon and the word “pansexual” is never used at all, it completely fucks over those communities and deprives them of the comfort of having words for what they feel and experience. 

Really, the few times a multisexual person is shown in some sort of media (especially if they’re a morally good character), they almost always claim to eschew labels.

I understand why some people don’t want to label their sexuality, and I think there should be characters written that don’t want to do so, either. The problem is that characters are hardly ever allowed to have a label, unless it’s straight or gay. And with OITNB, it’s especially problematic because Piper is not portrayed as someone who doesn’t want a label, she is portrayed specifically as someone who seems confused and doesn’t know what she wants or who she is. She doesn’t say, “I don’t want a label,” or “don’t label me,” or “why does it matter what I am?” (She only says non-specific things, like her mentioning the Kinsey scale.) Characters in the show are constantly saying she’s either gay or straight, and there have been maybe two occasions where someone said she might not be either. 

Here’s the thing. The character of Piper Chapman is WRITTEN the way she is. She is not real. The cast is also written to be a specific way. Piper Kerman, who wrote the book that inspired the series, is bisexual. She has said she dated several women before she met her husband, also. But in the show, the character does not openly identify as bi, and it’s played off as if her relationship with Alex is the only time she has “gone gay.” Also, there are a ton of lesbians in the show, but no one that has said they are bisexual. Not one. That is totally indicative of a problem.

There is a tendency to label a character gay as soon as they have same gender interests, even if they have loved, dated and/or slept with other gender characters in the past. Rarely is there a character that says or acts as if they truly like more than one gender, and they are then often written as someone that doesn’t want to be defined by it. (“It’s not a big deal.” “Who needs labels?” “There are more important things about me.” “I just like people.”) Are there real people with lived experiences like this? Absolutely. But this is a trend in writing because multisexuality is still considered a negative thing, even among gay friendly writers.

There are so few multisexual characters, and they almost always fit a whole slew of stereotypes. Piper Chapman is one of them. I’m not saying characters like hers have no place and aren’t representative of anyone. But they aren’t representative of many of us, and other than the bisexual villain, they are generally the only kind of “representation” we get.


nailed it